Dissociative Identity Disorder: Fearfully And Wonderfully Made (14)
Psalm 139: 13 – 18
It was a shock for me to hear Jane say that Albert wanted to talk to me. The implication being this alter named after her oldest son, was created only about a year ago. Albert’s emigration had traumatized his parents, and like most dissociated persons, Jane used this technique to store that traumatic memory, until she is ready to confront it. Thomas and Jane were deeply disappointed with Albert’s decision, and they never really got over that he and his supportive family were no longer around, now that they are Into their 70s and each down with several ailments. This processing was conducted separately for both Thomas and Jane, and subsequently, jointly, to help them rebuild their support network with the church that they belong to and with other distant relatives.
When Albert returned to Singapore for a visit, reconciliation with his parents was broached. The process was initiated and satisfactorily concluded.
It is not uncommon for dissociated persons to repeat their coping strategy that they had acquired in childhood into adulthood even when they have the mental and emotional resources as adults to process trauma differently. This educational progression has to be taught in due course so that future traumatic experiences are dealt with without the patient dissociating them.
Osborne came out again and clarified that he was forced to break his childhood love for Jane, when his mother heard that Fabian had raped her. She forced him to sever ties with Jane. As you can imagine, Osborne was one of the few real friends Jane had while she was in school, and this confession brought out a host of other information about their fondness for each other, and the sadness and pain it brought her having that relationship terminated through no fault of her own.
Christine, Jane’s mother-in-law spoke next, about her role in forcing Jane to foster out Craig. She paid particular attention to Craig when he returned to his parent’s home at about 12 years old, and loved him more than his other two brothers, as she felt guilty over what she did. But Craig continued to rebel, and even stole money and other jewelry from her, to feed his drug habits. Craig’s HIV condition worsened around this time and he was transferred from the nursing home where he had been for the past few years to an isolation unit at the Communicable Disease Centre. He passed on within a week. Grief counseling followed with both Thomas and Jane.
Jane’s maternal grandmother surfaced. Jane received news kept by this alter fairly recently, when one of her cousins arrived from Australia, having migrated there. The news shocked her! Jane’s mother came from a fairly wealthy family, but was sent away from her family by her father, due to her parent’s disapproval of their son-in-law, after their short-gun marriage. Jane’s father was one of the servants’ sons, who lived in the servants’ quarters on the same compound. This estrangement meant that Jane was unfamiliar with her cousins, uncles and aunties, as her mother was not allowed to visit anyone in her family. Jane vaguely recalled visits from an aunt while she was staying with Eddy and Doreen, but never met her grandmother. Piecing together stories from the past as told by third parties, who heard from their own parents, remain uncorroborated. Again, processing the content of these stories and how they had impacted Jane, and working through the emotions are more important. Several sessions were devoted to untangling feelings and thoughts over this issue.
The following four weeks, we took a break as Jane was scheduled for gall bladder surgery.
After Craig passed on, the alter Craig indicated through Pearl that he had more to say.